The animal kingdom is too big for us
Too scared about looking small boys in the eyes after having gone through our The Omen marathon?
How about some real-life animals…or creatures or whatever it is they are? We have them in big, bigger and super-mega-big and in the following flavors: Haunting, Funny, Boring, Ridiculous and Fun among other secret ingredients.
They come in all kinds of shapes
Creature features can be, as already mentioned, about anything. The following ones might not be classics (except maybe one), and the selection might seem a bit random… but that’s what you get…again with that candy box simile: you never know what to expect when there are so many of them.
So get your popcorn, booze or whatever fancies you, ready to dive right into a fairy tale, a comedy, a jungle, a sea, a snowflake…if any of that is possible.
A unique horror movie which is not really a horror movie. Nightmarish camera angles, a dreamlike setting, some gore and disgusting (were)wolf masks make for a very strange experience. Acting is often over-the-top (except for the girl; Angela Lansbury as the grandma is a bit too much as well sometimes) and it drags on at certain points. The symbolic nature of the sexual references can also be overused, and there’s a general lack of suspense in the story.
Still worth watching for the fairy-tale like atmosphere and the werwolf transformations.
More costume movie with lighthearted humor and romance than a horror or fantasy movie, it doesn’t necessarily bore but disappoint. Not boring because there are some funny dialogues and likeable characters (even if their English accents are a bit disconcerting when they speak French), disappointing because the creatures don’t have much screening time, and when they have, they look quite terrible (not in a trashy way, but just awful).
For those who want their creature features without many creatures and can’t bide any blood, which actually misses the point of those movies.
It’s also interesting to note that there are no home cinema copies available in the UK or US (only Canadian import). Could be due to the stupid English title Hair of the Beast, even though the German one translates Night of the Wolves. Either way it’s not a must-see-movie anyway.
Even for a TV production, one expects a bit suspense, horror and gore effects. This one has neither. Acting is bad as always (Gary Busey from action movies like Lethal Weapon or Undersiege shows a pitiful performance), the only redeeming feature are some funny one-liners and unintentionally comic situations. Oh, and it has that Very-British hunter from Jumanji in it who looks and acts the part, so another point.
Other than that, it’s the typical slow-paced hunting for the animal which is considered to be a serial killer. Talking about tiger: it looks even more bored than the cast and could have been taken from a zoo or circus performance. Gory details of torn-apart people are there, but it’s not shown what happens. A no-go for a creature feature.
It’s also interesting to note that the German DVD got an 18+ certificate, the BD later an uncut 16+. Crazy youth protection world we live in…
Rating: 3/10 (One for the funny lines, one for the gory details, one for the hunter)
Another SyFy-Channel output which looks more like Saturday afternoon kiddies program (German 12+ certificate). Some awful comedy music in (fortunately) few slapstick and humorous scenes and neverending family talk between father (divorced of course) and daughter (a rebel of course) try to cover up a non-existent story.
The creature’s mask doesn’t look so bad, but of course how the snowman, sorry, snow beast moves, looks very much like a guy in costume (of course). Biggest problem: when it attacks, a bit of blood is splattered here and there, but that’s about it. Some human remains (eaten to the bone of course) as another attempt at horror.
In short: the pacing is as slow as snow which falls down and covers the few victims one doesn’t really care about. In the Canadian mountains no one hears you scream…and no one really cares it seems until the borefest ist finally over.
Rating: 2/10 (for the monster’s make-up and some blood plus some nice soundtrack)
Asylum did it with Mega Piranha, and it’s doing it again: a creature feature which is so over-the-top and does everything wrong in editing (nonsensical cuts), music (orchestral and out of place), acting (bad, worse, worst), script (is there any?) that it’s so bad it’s fun again.
This is due to the fact that unlike many recent creature features, it doesn’t have any downtime. There’s always something happening, even if it is nonsensical. Action scenes are maybe not that innovative and it takes a while until the (bad CGI) crocodile and shark make more screen time appearance, but all in all it achieves what it wants: not taking itself seriously, delivering no-brains entertainment for trash fans.